Chapter 11 - Fortunate Son

Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman come to the door,
Lord, the house look a like a rummage sale, yes,

It ain't me, it ain't me,
I ain't no millionaire's son.
It ain't me, it ain't me,
I ain't no fortunate one, no.

Monday morning. A new working week had dawn in Edmonton. A new era was also beginning in the Edmonton Police Service as its new chief Robert Van Danzig officially took command . This was also the very first day of Chief Van Danzig’s new vampire activities patrol. During a morning press conference at the downtown headquarters, Chief Van Danzig reiterated his speech from Friday that this was not simple a pro or anti vampire campaign, but a campaign to ensure all citizens of Edmonton would have protection from any activities involving all sides of the spectrum. He also stressed that hateful and terroristic tactics displayed by a very vocal minority would not be tolerated within the city limits. He concluded the press conference once reporters began to question him about Anya’s return to the city on Friday. He politely declined to comment on the manner as he left the media scrum with them talking over each other.

While this conference on the outside was concluding, Joan Sperling was conducting the morning briefing with a small gathering of street officers, desk officers, and other support staff. Among those gathered were Cameron Swift, Angie Newhart, Simon Fererra, and Kaitlyn Russo – who all four were gathered around one desk as Sperling talked “… All right, ladies and gentlemen, as per the chief’s orders, here will be each officer’s respective roles as liaisons between their units and this new vampire task force – Swift? You will be dealing with vice and gang activities. Newhart will be handling sex crimes. Russo and Fererra will be dealing with homicide and major crimes. Myself and another officer yet to be determined will be overseeing foot and car patrol units. In the event of any major incidents, all department liaison officers are to report to me. Understood?” A spattering of “Yes ma’am” echoed through the office. A support staff worker handed a piece of paper to Sperling, who looked at the paper, read it to herself and then announced “And no time like the present to get started. Looks like Swift and Newhart get the first crack. A massage parlor worker claims to have been molested by a couple of vampires.” Sperling passed the sheet down to Swift and Newhart, who both looked puzzled by reading the incident report.

“Are we sure this isn’t a copy cat incident courtesy of our friends from New Sarepta?” Newhart asked.

“Well, this one is a bit unique” Sperling answered back. “Not only did she live, but everything else there seems a bit fishy.”

“Wonderful, let’s go,” Cameron said with a subdued enthusiasm as the two people who look the least like police officers left for their first assignment. Simon and Kaitlyn looked at each other, finally realizing something seemed a bit off. “Our friend from the Ukraine didn’t make it in?” Simon asked Sperling. “Mister Koloff is serving in his new role as a trainer for beat officers in hand-to-hand combat with the undead. He will also be conducting further investigation in the wolf attack on Deke House and reopening the Mill Creek case.”

“What do you mean ‘reopening’?” Kaitlyn asked as she tried to hide her worried feelings deep inside her gut.

“Meaning he believes there is a similarity between the attack on Charlie Lamb and the deaths involved with in the Mill Creek case.” Sperling stated. “Speaking of which, Mister Lamb and his attorney are waiting for round two.”

“And what a way to start off the week,” Simon said. Looking at Kaitlyn, who seemed distant, he asked her “Hey? You gonna be alright here, Kaity?”

Kaitlyn took in a deep breath and then exhaled. “Yeah, just still a little unnerved from Sully’s party.”

“Thought you would have had all weekend to get over that?” Simon asked as the two of them walked off down to the interrogation room.

“If only it were that simple,” Kaitlyn answered, thankful that Simon had bought into the lie once again.


Angie Newhart and Cameron Swift crossed over the police line that taped off a normal looking office building just off Jasper Avenue. They made their way up the stairs and up to the middle part of the building which served as a higher-end massage parlor. A pair of uniformed officers questioned a couple of the working girls while another officer approached Swift and Newhart.

“So why wasn’t this called in until now?” Angie asked the officer.

“We’ve been here all night trying to track down the suspects,” the officer responded with formality. “And of course our witnesses here have been somewhat useless,” he added as he looked over to a dark-haired, brown skinned woman who sat behind a desk. Swift and Newhart went over to the woman to question her about the events. In a very hyper and rapid speech, the woman recounted the story to the two detectives. “Look, we’ve been on a high watch for fangers since we heard that other girl got killed by one of them, even though he was like not one of them really, just one of those losers from that cult. Anyways, I asked them if I could see their teeth just to be on the safe side and…”

“… Okay, okay.” Angie said, holding her head slightly from a sharp attack in her head – probably as a result of the rapidness of the woman’s diction. Angie then asked “Can you describe them?”

“It’s hard to say,” the woman began again to sputter away “I mean he looked really young and handsome. Didn’t really sparkle, but I would totally do him if he came on to me. But the weird thing was this lady who was with him, she just stared at me and all of the sudden she gave me like a thousand dollars and I took them in to select their lady and then nothing until Anita started screaming for help and then…”

“… That’s good for now, thank you.” Cameron said to the woman. He and Angie moved off to the side. “Wow, a thousand dollars to let vampires into this kind of business?” Angie said in amazement “Guess everyone does have a price.”

Cameron nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’d be surprised what money can do in places like this. Anyways, what do you figure about her?”

“Hard to say,” Angie said, “Other than her needing to tone it down from an eleven to like a four, I got nothing out of her.”

“She may have been brainwashed or ‘glamoured’ as they say. Although I have a feeling there isn’t much of a brain to wash” Cameron said, trying to still work on his witty banter.

“Maybe we’ll get better luck with the victim then,” Angie said as the same officer approached them once again with a file. The officer handed it to Cameron as he and Angie looked at the contents of the file, which showed scene photos of the young lady’s bare breasts complete with bite marks on them. “Remind me to ask her who her plastic surgeon is.” Angie commented in a deadpan, depreciative manner.

“Good luck getting anything out of her,” the officer told Angie. “She’s been blabbering on in hysterics since last night. All we could get out of her was she’s worried about being deported back to Lithuania where they’ll beat her with shovels in her village.”

Angie placed her arms on her hips in frustration and said “Great, one witness’ brain is too scattered to recall anything…”

“… And the other one is just as scattered.” Cameron added. “So we got no real leads, huh?”

Another officer came towards Angie and Cameron. He was accompanied by a tall black woman, who was wearing a silk black robe covering up her partial nudity. “Well this may be your lucky day. This lady here gave us a pretty good description of our suspects,” the officer mentioned to Swift and Newhart.

“Really?” Cameron asked. “How were you able to resist their charm?” he then asked the woman.

“Well for one thing, couples aren’t my thing, even though they were offering me like two g’s to massage junior while mommy dearest watched,” the black masseuse answered Cameron’s question.

“Wait, what?” Angie asked. “’Junior’ and ‘Mommy dearest’?”

“Yeah, that was the vibe I got with them when I met them in the waiting room,” the masseuse answered. She then showed a silver cross that dangled on her neck and nestled in between her cleavage. “Either that or they freaked out when they saw this.”

“Cool. Vampire Kryptonite.” Cameron said.

“Never leave home without it,” the masseuse added.

Angie stepped in, “All right miss, would you be willing to come with us and give a description of the suspects?”

“Hell yeah. Just let me get into some non-work clothes here” she said as an officer escorted her to the back. Passing by Cameron, the masseuse stopped and whispered in his ears “Come back for a freebie, honey. Ask for Monica.”

“Great,” Cameron sighed. “First day on the new job and a hooker just offered me free sex,” he added as he put in a call to have a sketch artist ready for them.


Claudia Reimer-Williams, an associate Crown prosecutor, made her way over towards Kaitlyn and Simon, who stood outside an interrogation room where Charlie Lamb and his legal counsel were inside, waiting to see what their fate was.

“Guess the Justice Department is taking this case seriously if they sent in the Barracuda,” Simon jokingly said as he greeted Claudia with a handshake.

“So I take it all the evidence is in our favor?” Claudia asked with confidence in knowing the next answer would be a positive one.

“Lab results came back this morning,” Kaitlyn told the diminutive brunette barrister. “His DNA was on the victim’s clothes and his semen sample was one isolated as well from the evidence collected.”

“Isolated?” Claudia asked.

“The other samples belonged to a couple other men who got tore up in the wolf attack.” Simon answered.

“Okay good,” Claudia said, assuring herself of a slam dunk case. “And how about the cross burning and house fire?”

“Everything else in regards to the Stanfield house fire is inconclusive.” Simon added. “Photos indicate he was there, his girlfriend implicated he and his knucklehead goofball friends were there, but nothing else from it sticks to him.”

“No worries,” Claudia said, slightly dejected but still confident. “Wasn’t going to pursue the hate crime angle on this anyways since it’s now a grey area until Ottawa votes on it next week. Shall we see if they agree?” she asked the two detectives as the three of them entered the room. Kaitlyn and Simon stood to the background as Claudia sat at the table across from Charlie and his lawyer.

“All right, I’ll make this short and sweet,” Claudia said as she opened her briefcase. “He pleads guilty to aggravated assault causing bodily harm, aggravated sexual assault, and property damage over a thousand. Fifteen years, eligible for parole in ten.”

“Not going to happen,” Charlie’s lawyer countered, “Property damage and assault we will cop to, but not his bogus rape charge.”

“Bogus, huh?” Kaitlyn asked sarcastically as she gave Charlie’s lawyer a folder. “The proof is in the pudding”

“It was not my client’s idea and others were involved too. This is merely an attempt for you all to grandstand and make my client a scapegoat for a crime where none of the any other guilty parties have been brought forth,” Charlie’s lawyer defensively said.

“Well, we would loved to do that but at this time, the other suspects we had in mind caught a bad case of ‘torn apart by a pack of wolves’” Simon shot back at the lawyer, who in turn said back “Which is why we should wait until that investigation is closed and we can bring the true masterminds to the justice you seem to be willing to hang on my client’s head.”

“Well we could drag it out to the point where should Ottawa grant rights to vampires, and I’ll throw in inciting hatred as a charge,” Claudia said.

“Again you have no solid evidence to indicate my client…” Charlie’s lawyer said but was then cut off by his client, “Wait a minute, they’re seriously considering giving those things rights?”

“Does that trouble you, Mister Lamb?” Claudia asked.

“Guess what, Charlie? The vamps knew you and your frat brothers did the fire. You think they’re going to be impressed with the fact one of you survived?” Simon asked.

“Look, we just wanted to make fun of those goofs from Sarepta for the internet, okay?” Charlie finally spoke up much to his lawyer’s dismay

“And I suppose gang raping a pro-vampire lawyer was also done for laughs?” Kaitlyn asked with disgust.

“You can’t really prove I did it!” Charlie protested. “It wasn’t my idea to begin with! I didn’t even want to even go near that corpse banger!”

“So, did your brothers coax you then to get in on the action?” Simon asked matter-of-factly.

“Don’t say anything. Not one more word,” Charlie’s lawyer advised him, but Charlie defied the advice “And what if they did? She asked for it!” Kaitlyn shook her head in disgust while Claudia stared at Charlie with a stone cold look from her otherwise cheerful looking cheeks. “The original offer stands,” Claudia stated. “If I were you, I would seriously consider taking it.”

Sensing defeat, Charlie’s lawyer shook his head and chided his client. “This isn’t like you groping those girls during Engineering Week. Do you realize what you have done?” Charlie’s once confidence face turned into dread, realizing now his proverbial goose was cooked. The lawyer sighed and then said “He pleads guilty to all three, but I ask for leniency in sentencing.”

“He has shown a history of sexual misconduct before,” Claudia said, “I thought my offer was as lenient as the Crown would want to go, but that can be discussed tomorrow when you enter your plea before the Crown.”


Kaitlyn and Simon sat at their desk now after going through the eventual plea bargain deal Charlie Lamb. Kaitlyn tapped her fingers on her desktop in minor annoyance at Charlie’s weak attempt at justifying being part of Claire Sawyer’s attack. “’Asking for it.’ Pft!” She scoffed. “Glad he’s getting what he deserves the most, of all the wimp-wristed misogynistic things to say…”, Kaitlyn also added as she proceeded to take out a stress-relieving ball from her desk and gently squeezed it to relieve and relax herself. “Suppose I was also ‘asking for it’ when my own assault went down, in his world at least.”

“Just relax a bit,” Simon advised his partner. “Joanie sees you stressin’ out she’ll probably throw you to working as a high school liaison officer.”

“I dunno,” Kaitlyn said, now a little bit calmer and relaxed, “Some days I just feel like hanging it all up and become a wandering private investigator. You know? Travel town to town helping people out? Kinda like The Littlest Hobo.”

“Or a modern day Kwai Chang Caine from ‘Kung Fu’?” Simon asked

“Probably. Minus hanging myself in a Thai motel room later on in my life,” Kaitlyn dryly answered back. The two of them watched Charlie Lamb being escorted down towards the holding cell area. “So much for the fortunate son, huh?” Simon asked while Cameron and Angie came in and joined their fellow officers. Angie added to the conversation “Speaking of fortunate sons, we got the sketches of our vampire suspects from our case.”

“Yeah,” Cameron piped in. “Turns out we’ve already encountered them in one form or another,” he said as he showed a drawing of a woman with curly hair. “Anya? From Sully’s party?” Simon asked.

Cameron answered, “Yes. And in an interesting twist of fate, our male friend has had complaints before from the girls on the street and in the parlors.” As Cameron showed the next picture, Kaitlyn recognized the male’s face belonging to Xavier Stanfield. “Well then,” she said to Cameron, “Looks like mommy has some explaining to do with regards to her son’s nasty habit.”